and now for the two week wait

The goods have been deposited... and much to my surprise, the motility is much improved from his original analysis. There are 37.5 million strong motile swimmers in there waiting for the impending ovulation tonight. Sadly, I had to go on my own as the husband had to get back to work due to a little mishap with a car he was working on. It felt so empty and sterile. The nurse was great and she kept chatting with me to keep the mood light... but once she left me to lie down for the allotted time, I felt so alone. So many people have been on this table in the same situation... did they feel as defeated as I do? One hurdle overcome-I am now a veteran to a medically stimulated cycle.

As much as I want to be excited, I just can help but remain reserved. If his numbers are so good this time... then what is the problem really? Do I have a hostile environment? Are my eggs impenetrable-or worse yet... are they not viable from the start? The worst thing I can think of to be labeled is "unexplained infertility"... where do you go from there? No idea why it is happening equals no idea how to fix it. It is a crap shoot every month in the hope one thing changes to work in your favor.

Listen to me... I just had my IUI and I am already feeling down on myself. I need to get into a positive frame of mind here. In just two "short" weeks, I will be having my blood drawn for a possible positive HCG test... and that would be a first ever for us. A positive test is a foreign concept that I would also like to become a veteran of.