As you may recall in my previous post, it was over-the journey, the dream, the biological children. We had begun to come to terms with it and started weighing our options. I ordered information from a couple different adoption agencies and readied myself for a possible next step. The literature was downright daunting and we immediately came to the conclusion this was not the way for us. It was so complex and expensive (so much more than I ever imagined) and lacked the biological bond we were struggling to come to terms with losing.
I decided to throw myself full force into losing weight and getting healthy. Nothing is more wrenching than seeing an office note from your doctor describe you as "mildly obese". I prefer "well-nourished" thank you. I managed to lose 9 pesky pounds in a relatively short time.
And then the most amazing thing happened...
Because I was also taking medication to suppress appetite, I decided to test on a whim just to be sure it was safe to take the meds. Turns out for the first time ever...ever...I saw a second line on the test-on an all natural, not even trying cycle. Of course I had to have blood drawn the next day to confirm and in fact, my hcg was 46. Three days later, it was up to 178. A little quick math says those are perfect numbers. We are in shock-complete and total shock! We did not want to get excited simply because of our brief history with pregnancies in the past, but no such luck. It is hard to contain excitement when something shines your way out of the blue as if this was meant to be.
Should I eat my words now? Apparently when you give up...when you least expect it...it really can happen.
Pray this one is our forever baby-and if you come into contact with any family of mine-no telling. W haven't decided when to spill to the world yet... not that we can contain it for any length of time :)