familiar fears-but good numbers

I know I will be a hypochondriac. I have had my primary doctor do three HCG draws (the first two to confirm it was rising and a third because I didn't "feel" anything and I thought my progesterone was falling). After these three very normal HCG levels, I was referred to my OB of choice for an impromptu "counseling" visit as that office liked to call it since it is too early to see anything to get a good feel on progress. I had that visit last friday.  They decided to draw an HCG this past monday. Two hours later I was on the phone checking on the levels of course. This is what we found our levels to be over the last week or so:

• 8/05/11   46
• 8/08/11   178
• 8/11/11   501
• 8/15/11   2800

Turns out, regardless of my concern for falling progesterone (which was at 13.85 on 8/15), the HCG is doing spectacularly well. Progesterone is a little low for my liking, but within range. No spotting either, thank god! I do have little things going on like cramping which I was told is normal as long as they are not bad and are not accompanied by blood...and the "girls" are getting increasingly sensitive. The past day or now I have been feeling out of sorts-kinda like I feel like I am coming down with something. I am tired and a little queasy, although no true vomiting-yet. I imaging my HCG to be around 15,000 today. It's no wonder I am feeling more going on as time progresses. Bring it on :)

I also have to mention how neat that little visual is on the top right of my blog with the image of the baby. It has a little heart flutter right now. How cool is that!

an amazing thing...

As you may recall in my previous post, it was over-the journey, the dream, the biological children. We had begun to come to terms with it and started weighing our options. I ordered information from a couple different adoption agencies and readied myself for a possible next step. The literature was downright daunting and we immediately came to the conclusion this was not the way for us. It was so complex and expensive (so much more than I ever imagined) and lacked the biological bond we were struggling to come to terms with losing.

I decided to throw myself full force into losing weight and getting healthy. Nothing is more wrenching than seeing an office note from your doctor describe you as "mildly obese". I prefer "well-nourished" thank you. I managed to lose 9 pesky pounds in a relatively short time.

And then the most amazing thing happened...

Because I was also taking medication to suppress appetite, I decided to test on a whim just to be sure it was safe to take the meds. Turns out for the first time ever...ever...I saw a second line on the test-on an all natural, not even trying cycle. Of course I had to have blood drawn the next day to confirm and in fact, my hcg was 46. Three days later, it was up to 178. A little quick math says those are perfect numbers. We are in shock-complete and total shock! We did not want to get excited simply because of our brief history with pregnancies in the past, but no such luck. It is hard to contain excitement when something shines your way out of the blue as if this was meant to be.

Should I eat my words now? Apparently when you give up...when you least expect it...it really can happen.

Pray this one is our forever baby-and if you come into contact with any family of mine-no telling. W haven't decided when to spill to the world yet... not that we can contain it for any length of time :)