facebook

What a great little application. I have already hooked up with a lot of old friends from high school and college. It truly is nice to see where they are all at. It is also an amazing test of humility. I was never at all reduced to jealousy to see my friends with families... until I was put on the roller coaster of infertility. I am now facing the awkward moment where I need to not think about what they have and I do not. And it is very, very challenging. I just found a friend who I was in her wedding a few years back. Just a year after that, they announced thy were pregnant. At the time I was thrilled for them. Their daughter arrived on New Years Day of 2007. We lost touch a bit after that, but through the miracle that is facebook, I caught a glimpse of her today... with two children. Granted I am still happy for them, but I just can't shake that feeling that I am missing out on something so natural and amazing. Why is it I am forced to work so much harder for it? Perhaps the photos of all my old friends smiling for the camera with their beautiful children are not all sunshine and roses. Maybe they struggle too.... with infertility or finances or whatever it is that might be their skeleton in the closet. Not that I wish anything other that good fortune for each and every one of them, but assuming that they do not struggle at some point is a bit narrow minded. The reality is that nothing is perfect, but that is what makes us and our bonds better and stronger. It builds character.

I must work on my humility and Jeff needs to focus on his pride. We have a long ways to go and to be burdened by these things will only make things more difficult than they need to be.

Sometimes it is just too hard to see the end of the journey for fear the journey will never end.