Monday, November 28, 2011

almost there...

Just a few more days before we can see how big this little one has gotten! Oh-and we get to find out the gender too-yay! Hopefully that will help with the bonding. I have noticed that I am very guarded about developing a bond and it is my assumption that our difficult past riddled with months of trying and difficult losses is a big culprit. I want nothing more than to be attached and in love with this baby. I do not take one moment for granted-but I am scared beyond belief. I simply have not been able to grasp that in less than 5 months, the life inside of me will be a life outside of me. Is it normal to feel this way? Or am I bound for a lifetime of reassurance peppered in with a bit of counseling? :)

On an upbeat note...we are 3/4 of the way finished choosing names. We have a first and middle name for a girl and first name for a boy. We just have to narrow down the middle name. And no-we will not share with the family until after the sonogram. We may never share the names with his brother who can't take anything seriously and mocks every name we choose. We have had to retire three names off our list already because he made a joke of them.  Such a joker-all.the.time. I don't think he would make fun of a name we have agreed upon though. We'll see :)

And bittersweet...this 20 week sono on thursday will be the final time we see this little one prior to when it is living "outside of me"... that's a long time to not see what is going in isn't it? Such a challenge.

Off to eat a brownie-and see if I can pack on yet another pound to my weight gain this last month :)

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